I get one last shot

I saw the doctor yesterday because I’d been bleeding for a week and a half after he put my IUD in. After getting pissed at the nurses for telling me that bleeding is normal I insisted to talk to the doctor and he requested to see me as soon as possible. 

Yesterday I saw him and he was very straight forward about everything, he did a pelvic exam, drew blood and told me that he wanted to do a sonogram. I was in a daze yesterday and then this morning I started feeling an overwhelming anxiety. I have been dealing with medical problems since October and it’s getting to the point where I’m angry any time something new comes up. 

This morning I went in for the sonogram and then followed up with my doctor. He told me that my blood count is 13.1 and they start to worry when it gets down to 12.8 because then we need to start looking at the possibility of a transfusions. Other than my blood count getting a little too low we talked about how everything else looks fine. He told me that he doesn’t understand why my body is doing what it’s doing, that in all the time he’s been a doctor he’s never seen anyone react this way. He was completely at a loss for words. 

He gave me a prescription for Provera to force stop the bleeding that I’ve been having for almost 2 weeks. I take these pills for 10 days, my bleeding is supposed to stop within a few days, but then after a few days it’s supposed to come back. Although, he told me that if the bleeding comes back at all after that in any capacity that he doesn’t have any other options I’ll have to have a hysterectomy. So, after all this I’m back to that place.

Honestly it’s worse this time, because it’s not even just him giving me worse case, it’s him telling me if this one thing doesn’t work I’m removing all of your reproductive organs and I’m not giving you a say in the matter. I’m a complete and total mess this time, it’s way too real for me this time. All I want to do is going home, crawl into my bed, cry my eyes out and watching shitty wedding shows on Netflix.